Couples Therapy After Infidelity
An affair doesn't just break trust. It rearranges reality. The marriage you thought you were in turns out to have been something else, and you don't yet know what.
What this actually asks of both partners
There's no shortcut through this, and we won't pretend otherwise. The path back, if there is one, runs through honesty most couples haven't practiced before: about what happened, about what the relationship actually was, about what each of you needs to know and what each of you needs to take responsibility for. It's hard, slow work. We hold space for both partners in it.
Rebuilding vs. discernment
Some couples arrive wanting to rebuild. Others aren't sure what they want. Both are valid starting places. When you're not sure whether the relationship can survive, the work shifts from rebuilding to discernment: getting clear on what's actually here, what's recoverable, and what each of you genuinely wants to do with that information. Clarity is its own kind of healing.
What we focus on
We work to understand the conditions that allowed the affair: what was missing, what was unspoken, what each partner was trying to get or avoid. Not to excuse the behavior, but because without that understanding, the work stays on the surface. We draw from Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Gottman Method's approach to trust and betrayal recovery, both of which have strong evidence for exactly this kind of work.
Therapists who work with infidelity
If this page sounds like what you are carrying, the next step is finding the clinician whose lens and style fit the work.
Bassy Schwartz, LMFT
Bassy holds couples through the hard honesty of betrayal repair, with care for both the injury and the accountability the work requires.
- Affair recovery
- EFT
- Couples crisis
Donny Fuchs, MFT-LP
Donny works with couples trying to understand what happened, what is recoverable, and what has to change for trust to be possible again.
- Trust repair
- Couples
- Pattern work
Some couples come through infidelity with a more honest relationship than they had before. That possibility is real, and it takes real work to get there.
Reach out for a free 15-minute consultation, or send us a message below and we’ll match you with the right therapist.